In search of answer

Nope. Don't think that I'm suicidal. Yes, I feel low these days. I have to ignore my friends and relatives negative reactions every time I turn down their invites be it social or business. Left their calls unanswered most of the time. Had to file leaves of absences in the office. On the other hand, I resolved to find the answer by attending church activities, seeking prayers and counseling. Meditation...? Yes, but got not much discipline to do it. Instead, I went out with different sets of friends, tried to acquire new skill - driving and of course, the latests - gardening and blog. Whew! So many things to spend time with but would this cure the problem? Don't know the answer yet. Haven't overcome the situation so far. But I just hold on to this promise in the bible. . . " all things work together for those who love God and who are called according to His purpose". My mantra for the whole time. Now, time to look for something to entertain me other than the net. I have three pots waiting for me to fill with some plants to be placed under the kitchen sink. That corner is still open and the white shining tiles seems cozy for my pet dogs to sleep on. They're lovable but can't interact with them much for health reason. And maybe tonite. . . I'll call a prayer warrior to help me pray for my concerns and hope that tomorrow I'll wake up with miracles abounding around me. If not, I'll be content sipping my choco drink while staring at my orange red kitchen tiles. While hoping for the best, Orange is signing off.

Its not all orange

I don't know what to write. How to express my emotions... But just like any other endeavor, I've got to start something, somehow. . . I choose Orange as a username because that's the color I used also to highlight part of my house. Part of my experimentation, bringing my life to another level. Just want to have a feel of something new. Its an experiment. Maybe because my life interest is becoming diverse as I mature. The blog caught my fancy at the time that I was confused and undecided whether to continue or leave my present job. Yes, I need the income. The money from my little business is not sufficient to meet my needs. The job that I am referring to has given me much experience in terms of community organizing but the environment I am exposed to is affecting my health. I am paying a high price for this exposure in terms of physical and financial aspects. My being part of the agency has also rewarded me a leadership experience as a long time officer of an employees' organization. One that is political and progressive almost always in the forefront of protest actions. Now. . . I'm contemplating on leaving this present world of mine. I've embraced the challenges, pains ; celebrated the victories. Had won friends and enemies. Found my spirituality. But must all come to an end? Shall I bid goodbye to all these now...?