A different love

My dearest girlfriend,

We communist have a high casualty rate. We're the ones who get shot and hung and ridiculed and fired from our jobs and in every other way made as uncomfortable as possible. A certain percentage of us get killed or imprisoned. We live in virtual poverty. We turn back to the party every penny we make above what is absolutely necessary to keep us alive. We communist do not have the time or the money for many movies or concerts or T-bone steaks or decent homes or new cars. We've been described as fanatics. We are fanatics. Our lives are dominated by one great overshadowing factor, the struggle for world communism. We have a philosophy to live which no amount of money could buy. We have a cause to fight for, a definite purpose in life. We subordinate our petty personal lives into a great movement of humanity. If our personal lives seem hard or our egos appeal to suffer through subordination to the party, we are adequately compensated by the thought that each of us in his small way is contributing to something new and true and better for mankind. There is one thing in which I am dead earnest about and that is the communist cause. It is my life, my business, my religion. It is my hobby ,my sweetheart, my wife,my mistress, my bread,my meat. I work at it in the daytime and I dream of it at night. Its hold on me grows, not lessens as time goes on. Therefore, I cannot carry on a relationship with you any longer, no longer a love affair, not even a conversation with others without relating it to this force which drive and guides my life. I evaluate books and people and ideas and actions according to how they affect this communist cause and by their attitude toward it. I've already been in jail because of my ideals, and, if necessary, I'm ready to go before a firing squad.

Your commie soon to be ex-boyfriend,


No that letter wasn't for me nor wish it was. A church minister published this letter many, many years ago to show somehow the kind of commitment a man has towards his cause and posing the challenge to the followers of Christ to do more for the king, the one who holds the future. If one man could give up his personal happiness, his very life for the success of one ideology, cant Christians do the same or more... Its good to be reminded from time to time of what have we done for Him who first loved us before we loved Him. And be asked what sacrifices are we ready to undergo to glorify His name? At this time and age where most people seek personal gratification, I still do believe, genuine Christians will rise up during dark and trying times. May we proudly say, we belong to the the latter's tribe! Hallelujah!!

How

We

Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Chat Room Life
Well, whats life nowadays?

For 6 months now, can't believe it, I survived the life in a chat room. Don't have to mention what site is that as few won't believe that crazy things happen in such place. Its another place where one learn to navigate the waters in order to enjoy the journey and stay afloat. To chatters' delight or frustration, they cant see and hear the players and only read what they have to say. But if one is lucky he gets to establish relationships that may color his life be it plain friendship or more intimate. Some attest to that anyway. So far, I bonded with some ladies and gentlemen and our communication progressed from chat room to YM. And soon, I will be meeting two of them in person. This coming June am off to the southern part of the country and would grab the chance to see them. One who works in a non-government organization is happy to assist me find a place to stay while there.

Chat room is a small universe complete with characters. Wholesome,funny, refreshing,spiritual, friendly, blunt, sarcastic, desperate, swindlers, perverts, vultures, wolves etc etc interacting constantly.

So does one easily differentiate the reel from real ones in chat room. Well, if you come across with those who are out and out, boisterous ones, you wont be needing much time to know the person. Who is dangerous is the one pretending to be nice, funny, craving for friendship, acting saintly than a real saint, lol. He makes you laugh, boast your ego, make you feel special until you get close to him and trust is bestowed. Gradually, the dark side of him unfolds and you will feel used, betrayed, ridiculed. Ah, time and again, women with their trusting nature, fall prey for this type. There are exceptions though, some men i came to know remain as nice and gentle as ever. Hmmm, deliciously sweet ha ha ha . . .

Fortunately or unfortunately, its a virtual world. But I guess,the feeling is the same. You hate yourself for not handling your affairs carefully, for being gullible to opportunists characters, for ignoring the red light, for acquiring "this wont happen to me" mindset.

Perhaps, my journey in a chat room is complete. I can even make a story out of it lol. Learned some chat language, met cute guys and wonderful women with stories of courage. Is it time for me to bid adieu? Well, as of now, the only reason for me to stop visiting the site is to have that overwhelming love of someone or for something, enough to make me forget about it, lol.

Another one saved

Am back and its 2nd quarter of the year. What went on during the hibernation period? Well lots I could say. But won't touch on those now. I've decided to start my blog this time with a bang! Ha ha ha. I have been praying for God to use me more in His vineyard and He did! One step at a time. My friend who lives in a nearby province called and texted me a day before my scheduled island hopping and beaching ( my term) to ask for help regarding her marital problems. Shocked, never been an authority in such subject. With only 12 hours left before I leave, all i could muster was to encouraged her with the word and gave her some referrals to contact for free legal assistance; made her appointments with ngos that have chapters abroad which oversee welfare of Pinoy workers. Even requested another friend to go with her consultations. But it dawned on me that God did not want it that way. He made sure I'd give the friend a VIP treatment. So did I voluntarily give up my trip for her? No way! Mind was all set to join my sister's rendevouz with nature. Guess what happened, she had a minor accident hours before our departure. Heavens intervention or not, friend was relieved that I was available for her. And the highlight of which was that I was able to share the gospel to her using the Four Spiritual Laws booklet. Am sure the angels sang when she prayed the acceptance prayer. Hallelujah! God is good all the time! He used the sinner me to lead another soul to His kingdom. What followed suit was predictable: met all the persons we need to talk to and now waiting for positive developments. Truly, all things work together for good for those who love God and who are called according to His purpose. Praise you Lord!

In search of answer

Nope. Don't think that I'm suicidal. Yes, I feel low these days. I have to ignore my friends and relatives negative reactions every time I turn down their invites be it social or business. Left their calls unanswered most of the time. Had to file leaves of absences in the office. On the other hand, I resolved to find the answer by attending church activities, seeking prayers and counseling. Meditation...? Yes, but got not much discipline to do it. Instead, I went out with different sets of friends, tried to acquire new skill - driving and of course, the latests - gardening and blog. Whew! So many things to spend time with but would this cure the problem? Don't know the answer yet. Haven't overcome the situation so far. But I just hold on to this promise in the bible. . . " all things work together for those who love God and who are called according to His purpose". My mantra for the whole time. Now, time to look for something to entertain me other than the net. I have three pots waiting for me to fill with some plants to be placed under the kitchen sink. That corner is still open and the white shining tiles seems cozy for my pet dogs to sleep on. They're lovable but can't interact with them much for health reason. And maybe tonite. . . I'll call a prayer warrior to help me pray for my concerns and hope that tomorrow I'll wake up with miracles abounding around me. If not, I'll be content sipping my choco drink while staring at my orange red kitchen tiles. While hoping for the best, Orange is signing off.

Its not all orange

I don't know what to write. How to express my emotions... But just like any other endeavor, I've got to start something, somehow. . . I choose Orange as a username because that's the color I used also to highlight part of my house. Part of my experimentation, bringing my life to another level. Just want to have a feel of something new. Its an experiment. Maybe because my life interest is becoming diverse as I mature. The blog caught my fancy at the time that I was confused and undecided whether to continue or leave my present job. Yes, I need the income. The money from my little business is not sufficient to meet my needs. The job that I am referring to has given me much experience in terms of community organizing but the environment I am exposed to is affecting my health. I am paying a high price for this exposure in terms of physical and financial aspects. My being part of the agency has also rewarded me a leadership experience as a long time officer of an employees' organization. One that is political and progressive almost always in the forefront of protest actions. Now. . . I'm contemplating on leaving this present world of mine. I've embraced the challenges, pains ; celebrated the victories. Had won friends and enemies. Found my spirituality. But must all come to an end? Shall I bid goodbye to all these now...?